The Midnight News 5.06.01
Posted By Hyatte on 05.06.01
The Brits are thrown a bone, the Future of the WWF, Piper, Family Fighting, and Comments from around the Net
Among the batch of news that you probably already read from other sites, I'm including a new, regular feature for the Weekend updates. I scoured about four or five message boards and snagged some interesting quotes. No names of authors or where these quotes originated are given. It's just to give a sense of what you kids are talking about this week.
GIVING THE BRITS A THRILL
The WWF held another one of those PPV's meant only for the British audience. It was called Insurrextion. There isn't a writer alive on the Web who didn't triple check the spelling of this title. Because Britain is inferior to the U.S. in all ways, the show clocked in at only two and a half hours.
The results are as followed:
Eddy Guerrero rolled up Brian Christopher and used the ropes for the pin.
The Holly's lost to Malenko and Saturn
The Big Show goaded an injured Test into coming to the ring. After tearing him a new one, Bradshaw came out to make the save. The two had a not-scheduled-so-it's-special match, which Bradshaw won with a "Clothesline from Hell". Test assisted in the victory. Looks like they were trying Bradshaw out as a Single's Face.
Edge and Christian took on the Hardy Boyz, the Dudleys, and X-Factor in a Four Way Elimination match. X-Factor were out first, followed by the Hardyz. Rhyno speared Buh Buh Ray and helped E & C win.
Steven Richards announced that William Regal handed him the book to the Women's Battle Royal match. He also called the British fans "corrupt". The end result was having Ivory in her underwear and Richards pantsless courtesy of Trish and Lita. Word has it that a "technical glitch" occurred just after Ivory was stripped. Of course, those Brits are famed for being sickened by the site of a woman in her skivvies.
Kurt Angle dropped two straight falls to Chris Benoit in a Best of Three series. Reports say that this was a "classic"
Jericho beat Regal in a "Queen's Cup" Match after Regal tapped to the "Walls of Jericho". After the match, Regal attacked Y2J with the actual "Queen's Cup", which the audience popped for. Why does the Queen Mum even NEED a cup? (In case she gets kicked in the nuts.... DUH)
The Undertaker defeated Austin and Triple H after Vince accidentally hit HHH with a chair. Word is that the Undertaker had problems standing up after the match. He was juicing quite heavily.
I lifted this from The Observer
PIPER'S SPIT
Roddy Piper talked to the same radio guy that Hacksaw Jim Duggan talked to last week. He was pushing a show in Eugene, Oregon and the University of Oregon on May 11th.
He said that he and McMahon have a cordial relationship. Which is a nice way of saying that both men understand that Piper won't call Vince and Vince won't return Piper's phone calls, but if one man corners the other at a party, they won't start yelling at each other.
One the other hand, Piper hates Russo and Russo hates Piper just as much. Remember, Wrestling does not need "writers" according to the Rowdy Scot. Apparently, neither do his movies.
Piper wouldn't job at the first two Wrestlemanias, and that earned him a little heat. (How dare they ask him to do a job.)
To this day, Piper is amazed at how Snuka took the famous coconut to the head. He credits that moment for the success of "Piper's Pit".
Piper revealed that if someone is taking a Rikishi Stinkface, that means that someone is being punished by the WWF. Of course, Roddy would never take the Stinkface himself. Don't be silly.
He also said that if Hogan's plans to start a new company with Universal, he'll be a part of it.
Piper also told some old school tales and entertained a phone call from "Playboy" Buddy Rose.
Funny, I thought Rose was dead?
That was more thievery from The Observer
BIG STARS YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF
I found this Jim Cornette Interview from a couple of weeks ago. RFVideo asked Cornette about which Ohio Valley Wrestler had the best chance of making it in the WWF. Of course, Cornette said that all his wrestlers had potential, but listed a few stand-outs:
Brock Lesner and Sheldon Benjamin: Great, young tag team.
Leviathan: Awesome Specimen. A lot of charisma. Huge like a monster but moves like a light heavyweight. Cornette feels that he'll headline Wrestlemania one day.
Nick Dinsmore: Not a giant. Doesn't have a Scott Steiner body. But he is probably the best all around wrestler that Cornette has. Cornette cites a classic match in December where Dinsmore held his own against Chris Benoit for 20 minutes
Flash: A risk taker in the mold of the Hardyz
Pain: A tough son of a gun. Silly name too.
To check out the entire interview, go to RFVideo
ELVIS IS WEEPING
From his own web page
Jerry ''The Whining Cry Baby'' Lawler
Enough of the crying B.S. about losing your job. We are sick of your comments showing up all over the net. Get a life and stop complaining about how the WWF and Vince McMahon will not talk to you anymore. You had your run there. A run you should never have gotten the way you bashed all the WWF stars of the last decade. How many wrestlers and their families did you hurt when you were the booker and promoter in that B.S. territory down in Memphis? How many horrible payoffs did you give to the wrestlers who worked hard and drove long miles to make you look good, while all the time you and that sorry Jerry Jarrett were stealing money.
You have even bragged about having over a million in cash stuffed away somewhere there in Memphis. Where did you get it if you didn't steal it? You sure as hell didn't earn it. You never got over anywhere except Memphis and if you weren't part of the ownership, you would not have gotten over at all. You just can't live with yourself knowing you never got the big run in the WWF. The run you had was licking Bret Hart's feet and wrestling midgets. It is only fitting that "the King" was never crowned as the winner of a "King Of The Ring" in the WWF. The only crown you got in WWF was the one some of the wrestlers were taking dumps in. Now take your teenage wife, rape a few more of the "mark" independent promoters for money you don't deserve, and fade out of the business.
That was from the Honkey Tonk Man. Who is Lawler's Cousin.
This made some serious net noise, as the site just recently thanked all the thousands of people for coming by and promised "many, many more" updates in the very near future.
Fighting on the Internet.... how silly.
PLUGS AND THE WOMEN WHO LOVE THEM
Tom Daniels Cheap Heat explains why he is bored with Raw. Let's hope it's the last Internet word on the subject and everyone can move on to a less abused topic.
There are some matters that Bryce McNeil is annoyed with. He lists them in his latest edition of Foot On The Ropes. Honestly, some of his points are quite valid and interesting.
If it seems that I'm a bit harsh about the columns of my fellow sitemates, it's to make a point. I'm hoping for 411 to be filled with more unique outlooks and fresh opinions. Give Ashish a better site to come back to.
And now, as promised....
ACROSS THE BOARDS
"Don't Ryder and the rest of the clowns at 1wrestling realize that there are many programs devoted to the cause of killing popups, many of which cost $0.00?"
"Hey CRZ, is it true you were trying to hold down Keith at Wrestleline? You are the smartest man on the Internet."
"How will Tom Cruise "prove that he isn't gay" in court? Will he recoil from the site of another man's package? Will he perform oral sex and then vomit. Will he... you get the picture."
"If McMahon is God than I'm an atheist"
I get such a kick out of DDP, because he sucks up to anyone and everyone just to get in good with everybody. As a human being, he's scum of the earth, but he gets in good with everyone in an attempt to hide that fact. At least Kevin Nash is foreward about being an assh**** ..."
"If you can see this post,you're probably the only one."
"Was it always William Regal or did he ever go by the name Steven? Lord Steven Regal sounds familiar."
"No, but most Americans can't locate New Hampshire on a map."
"X-pac should be the next wwf Champ because there is not one person on this board who likes him."
"Regardless of how they want WCW to be percieved, if the WWF keeps feeding us the same ole' bull***t, plenty of people will be watching WCW when it comes around."
"Gunn deserves OVW, and if he doesn't learn anything there, he should start learning to make McDonalds sundaes, as I'm sure he'll be serving a lot of them."
"With all the controversy about the politics in the WWF, specifically Triple H, does anyone else think it is all a Canadian Conspiracy to take over the WWF. Scott Keith, a Canadian, has been complaining about Triple H for a while. The guys from the LAW, all Canadians I might add, have been talking about Triple holding people back. Finally, Brian Alvarez is always throwing his two cents in about Triple H being an ass. While Alvarez is not Canadian, Alvarez lives in Seattle, close enough to have Canadian sympathies. Finally, the kicker is that all these guys want to elevate Benoit, Jericho and Test, who are, you guessed it, Canadian. You have been warned."
"He will sit at home collect his checks and laugh at all the indy guys still busting their ass learning headlock take downs. We have seen the last of Gold-terd. Unless Hollywood Squares still have a spot for him."
"1Wrestling is not exactly noted for their quality control."
"Nash will probably never wrestle again in the WWF. He and Hall should go to Japan and be lazy over there."
"If WWF keeps sucking os bad it will lead too 2 things: 1)The rapid increase in my tape collection 2)I'll watch WCW again (God save me)"
"I thought being unhappy, unsatisfied and unmotivated was a prerequisite to being an INTERNET WRESTLING PERSONALITY (TM)? And does anybody else find it really disturbing that some of these IWP's are in their mid-30's? Christ, I'm 21 and sometimes I feel like I'm too old for this stuff..."
I'd like to answer this last one thusly. I am more disturbed by 21 year olds who think they know how to wipe their ass, satisfy a woman, save the WWF, re-launch WCW successfully, and write intelligent commentary than I am by a 30 something who actually has something to say and the skill and experience to say it. Thank you.
I'm out.
This is Hyatte